2003-06-12 at 9:32 a.m.
home
it was nice.
to wake up at my parents house.
but also strange.
i remember being so excited when i was able to move out of that house completely. i felt free. independent. and i was getting married to the man i loved.
and for a long time it still felt wonderful.
but when the security faltered, i longed to be back where i knew i was safe.
back home.
back in my old room.
in my old house. with momma and daddy. and even jami.
but i am all grown up.
and married.
i can�t retreat to my comfort zone.
well, actually i should be able to retreat to my comfort zone because it should be at my house with chris.
but since he has been acting so peculiar, my comfort zone has gone back to being mom & dad�s house.
sad, but true.
i don�t know how long i will stay there. maybe only a few days. maybe until chris comes back. we�ll see.
**********************
he called me last night.
i had begun to think that he wouldn�t. although i knew that he might not get there until very late and that he probably wouldn�t call then.
my cell phone rang at 9:24 p.m.
i knew it was him because he is (just about) the only person who calls my cell phone. i jumped out of bed (don�t worry, i wasn�t asleep yet) and ran over to the table where my phone was laying.
�hello?� i asked. although i should have just said �hey chris!�
�hey!� he replied. �i just wanted to let you know we made it.�
�how long you been there?� i asked. i don�t really know why i asked this, but it just sorta came out.
�since about 7:30 or so,� he replied.
�okay. i�m glad you made it there safe,� i said. they must have unpacked and gone out to get something to eat. hopefully not to a bar.
�we�re just about to go to bed. we get off at seven tomorrow.� (*note: tripp, chris and shane are all staying in the same motel room....fun, huh?)
�you gonna call me tomorrow night?� i asked anxiously. although not too anxiously because i didn�t want him to get agitated with me.
�of course. i love you,� he replied.
�i love you too,� i said. my heart was beating so fast and hard that i was sure he could hear it through the phone.
�bye,� he said
�bye,� i answered and with that he was gone.
**********************
it has only been one day since i last saw him.
touched him.
smelled him.
hugged him.
but it feels like it has been forever.
i can already tell that this is going to be a l-o-n-g three weeks.
i have to find some stuff to do to take my mind off of this.
************************
xoxo
tell me i'm beautiful...
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