2003-05-13 at 10:30 a.m.
he's back
he�s back.
the man i married is back.
he wasn�t ever really gone, but he wasn�t behaving in the same manner. his whole demeanor changed. his temper was something that i had never experienced. not to this degree. not for this long of a time. he became someone i didn�t know. someone i didn�t want to know. someone i was scared of. he wasn�t my husband. he wasn�t my chris.
but now everything is back to perfect. back to sweetness and love. back to long talks and lazy sunday afternoons. back to kisses and giggles. back to us the way i always want to remember us.
life always has ups and downs. this was our first down. we spent the first year and a half of our marriage in an up. in comes to reason that we would experience a down sooner or later. though, it worried me that this down that we were experiencing was to become our norm. and i shuddered at that thought.
i am very superstitious when it comes to the old adage of �don�t count your chickens before they hatch.� that axiom has seemingly had free reign over my life since i was old enough to know what it meant. i pray that my happiness isn�t shattered by another trial.
all relationships have their own trials to deal with. for some they stem from money. others, sex. and still others stem from insecurities.
in this realm lay our trials.
we both have insecurities. mine are a bit more evident than his. but we both have them.
we love each other so much. more than i could ever express into words. but we are both so scared.
we want so much out of life. we have our own feelings and work incredibly hard for the things we have. our time alone together is precious and scarce. we are constantly being pulled in different directions. which makes this all the more wonderful.
he�s back.
i never stopped loving him, and i know i never will.
he is my chris.
my chris is amazing.
******
xoxo
tell me i'm beautiful...
||
