08.01.2007 at 10:08 pm
the only one that matters
lately, i have been thinking about janie going to 4K next year. it's a decision that is weighing heavy on my mind, even if it is a whole year away... partly because i know that i really don't have a year to decide. the 4K programs (there are three in my town) fill up quickly and i don't want to wait until the last minute and have registration come up and me have still not made a decision about it.
which i am pretty apt to do.
because i just don't want to think about it.
sending janie to 4K is the proof that she is growing up.
since she was 14 months old, she has gone to the same daycare. and i love that daycare. janie loves that daycare. it is run by one of my best friends.
and maybe that is also why this is bothering me so much.
i don't want to hurt nancy. i would do anything to not hurt nancy. and i am scared that when i tell her, or if i tell her, that i want to put janie in a 4K program that she will feel that i think that her daycare isn't good enough...
but that isn't what the issue is.
the issue is that i want janie to be acclamated to the kids that she is going to be in school with. i don't want her to go to school the first day of kindergarten and not know any of those kids. the kids she is in daycare are older than her by a year, and therefore will be going to school before her. there is not one single child at daycare that will go to school and be in the same grade as janie.
which means, that most of the other kids who are going to be in her class are already together. somewhere. at some daycare in town. there are lots of daycares around town, and even one at the private school (which also has a 4K program, and a pretty good one, from what i have heard).
i need to do what is best for janie. not what is best for leigh. not what is best for nancy.
janie is the only one that matters.
earlier tonight, while i was talking to chris about all of this, tears flooded my eyes.
"she's not my baby anymore..." i said, trying to keep the tears from running down my cheeks...
"yes she is. she will always be your baby..." his voice trailed off as we both looked at her riding her bike with training wheels...
"janie, are you momma's baby?" he asked.
"yes!" she replied in her munchkin-like voice.
my baby. my baby janie. she really is the only one that matters...
xoxo
tell me i'm beautiful...
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