06.28.2005 at 12:06 am
thanks
As I am sitting in my living room with my precious little Janie tears are flooding my eyes. I was reading an article in magazine about a woman who runs a program that allows abandoned infants that don�t survive a proper burial. The woman talked of how she would wrap each infant in a handmade quilt and rock them gently before placing them in their little caskets.
I have always been an emotional person. Some people would replace the word �person� with �basket case�. When I was younger I would always tear up when a certain Alabama Power commercial came on television during the winter. This commercial showed an elderly lady putting on all of her winter clothes before she went to bed. This was because she couldn�t afford to pay her electric bill. To tell you the truth, that one still gets to me. But for the past 17 months my emotions have changed. Seventeen months ago I became a mother. And I know that is why the story about The Garden of Angels touched my heart so much.
I never thought of myself as someone who was good with children. I still don�t. My husband had to ask me to have a baby. And the whole nine months I was pregnant I was scared to death that I just wasn�t cut out to be a mother.
But now that I look at her, feel her, love her; I know that God gave her to me for a reason. She�s got my nose and curly hair. She has Chris�s heart-shaped mouth and dimpled chin. Her eyes are as big and blue as the ocean. And the gap between her front two teeth comes straight from two of her great-grandmothers. She is the epitome of beautiful.
I feel sorry for all those women who have lost children. It makes my heart purely ache. Especially for the ones who do not realize what they have lost, as in the children who are buried in The Garden of Angels. They may ever know the joy of hearing 'momma!' or 'uh oh...' come from a precious child. They may never pick up a little girl who is crying after scraping her knee and that little girl resting her head on their shoulder and patting her little hand on their back as if to let them know that it is going to be alright.
They may ever know. But hopefully they will.
Now it is time for me to turn off the television and scoop my little buttercup up into my arms. We will pick a book out and sit in the recliner and read. I would read her the article that made me write this, but I am pretty sure she just wouldn�t understand. One day she will when she holds her own little buttercup in her arms. But before I do all of that, I should call to thank my grandparents for giving me this subscription. If I never read another article, I know I will never forget this one. It has made me appreciate what I have even more. Thanks Granny and Pawpaw.
xoxo
tell me i'm beautiful...
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