12.19.2017 at 4:53 pm

The good, the bad, and the ugly. Just not in that order.

I was holding Si last night while he slept. He had run fever earlier so Jason had given him medicine and it helped tremendously. Later on in the evening I thought we were going to heading to bed soon. I still needed to make cornbread salad to take to school for the teacher breakfast. It was probably 10:30 or so. I was about to take Si upstairs when he started coughing.

Well that coughing led to him strangling.

And that strangle let to him throwing up.

All. Over. Me.

Now I was pretty sure it was only because of him coughing because it didn't have that particular smell of the stomach virus... You know the one. It catches you and infiltrates your nostrils like burnt collards after they've been digested by a skunk and that aroma has mixed with his, ahem, musk...

But it was still vomit.

Jason got up and immediately went to get me a towel or a hose. I wasn't sure which at the moment. I would have taken either honestly.

We got the vile soaked clothes off of Si. Thankfully he didn't get much on him. 95% of it was on ME.

Which wasn't that big of a deal.

Until I decided I needed to stand up.

I wasn't sure how to stand up without dropping some or all of the collected mess all over the couch and/or floor (that is carpeted, might I add...)

I looked up at Jason with what I'm sure was a look of fearfulness and he immediately knew I had no clue how to stand-up without making an even bigger mess.

We both couldn't help but laugh.

After I gagged a couple of times, of course.


You know.



I finally did get up and went to the laundry room. Jason had placed all of Si's clothes in my lap so I was walking as best I could while holding those clothes in my lap still bent over because I didn't want to drop ANY of that toxic three-mile-island grade stuff throughout my house. Because of course the laundry room was on the opposite side of the house from where I was...

I will save you the description of what happened between the laundry room and the bathroom. But it was well past midnight by this point and there was no one else downstairs but me.

And I wasn't taking dirty clothes with me upstairs to take a shower. If you catch my drift.

I took a bath and climbed into bed around 2:30 I think. I immediately felt of Si's skin to see if his fever had returned, but thankfully it had not. Or if it had, it hadn't met the temperature that my therMOMeter was calibrated to pick up.

I couldn't sleep, but at the same time I couldn't bring myself to cook anything. The teachers at school were just going to have to be okay with my slackerness at cooking once again. I wasn't too upset about by this point though.

I still had that retched stench inside my nose.

I was able to fall asleep and woke up before 6 to get ready to go to work. I had already planned on taking Janie and Si with me and we all got ready to go. Si was in a very good mood for a kid that had just had such an eventful night. He was still snotty and coughing some. But nothing like last night.

We got into the vehicle began to back out of the driveway. Si is my life commentator. He comments on everything he sees.

Every. Thing.

Why is the red light on momma? You don't have your seatbelt on momma. Are we going to work momma? I'm going to sit at the computer at your work momma. I'm gonna watch my shows on the computer at your work momma. I'm tirsty momma. Is Pop gonna be a your work today momma? I said I'm tirsty, momma.

That's all in the first 15 seconds. Before I had even made it to the road in front of our house.

My driveway is not but about 30 feet long.


Anyone that knows me knows I'm a very conscientious driver. If you don't really know me, then go read that post a couple of weeks ago while I was riding through Houston with Jason driving.

You'll understand.

I have to turn left and get into the turning lane when I am leaving my neighborhood. Then I have to merge right into traffic.

No biggie.

Unless it's foggy and someone driving a huge crewcab pickup 4x4 has also pulled into the same turning lane facing in the opposite direction WITH NO LIGHTS ON.

I learned in that moment what will most likely be my last words if I am ever involved in a fatal car crash in the near future.

I won't type them here.

Just know I am not happy about my current choice of last words and I will be working to remove them from my vocabulary and replace them with something more appropriate. I'm thinking "Please Lord, save me" would work quite well.

After not wrecking and saying things I really don't remember to the driver of that truck even though I know he couldn't hear me, I drove straight passed the turn in to school. I was on auto pilot I guess. Janie immediately said, "Umm, where are we going?" And I realized I had just missed my turn.

In Jackson.

A town of maybe 6000 people.

A town I have lived in all of my life.

I went on to drive 3 more miles out of my way before turning around.

Why? Why would I continue to drive in the wrong direction for 3 miles after knowing I was going in the wrong direction? Passing multiple places that I could have chosen to turn around and head right on to work?

It was simple.

It was foggy. And I am a ridiculously conscientious driver.

Plus I was in tears.

I had gotten that scared by that truck. And I was also upset by what I had just yelled outloud in front of both of my children. I pulled into a parking lot and turned around. I then put the vehicle in park and sat there crying and apologizing to Janie and Si.

Janie is very quiet normally and continued to be so.

Si, on the other hand, said the most beautiful thing he could have said to me right then.

"It's okay momma. I still love you."

THAT made me cry even more and then I started laughing. And Janie started laughing. Maybe because she was scared of me (Janie laughs uncontrollably when she is scared -- more on that later, I promise) and my mascara stained face, I dunno.

These 2 kids.

They have no clue how happy they both make me. I am unbelievably blessed by God. And He continues to prove it to me every day. Vomit and all.

We finally made it to school. I even got to take a freaking AWESOME picture with my coworkers in our tacky Christmas sweaters.



tell me i'm beautiful...


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