10.24.2007 at 8:34 pm
pink plastic princess shoes
the sense of smell is suppose to be the one most tied to memory. so, when i smell my mother's orange peel sugar cookies that she makes every Christmas, i always equate that aroma with Christmas.
but right now, with my sinuses stopped up like a cork in a wine bottle, i cannot smell anything.
i just got done making brownies (yeah, i know, SO not on the diet) and playing with janie in her room. she wanted me to wear her dress up shoes... you know, the pink plastic princess ones with the feather poofey thing on the plastic strap across the toes? yeah. those. but, she finally relented when i explained that mommy's foot was just too big.
the sweet thing is, though... i think she wanted me to wear them because she thought i wanted to. because she wanted me to feel good. because i had just got done telling her how pretty she was in those shoes and how well she walked in them.
she was trying to make me feel good by sharing her toy shoes with me.
now, everyone.... awwwwwwwww......
janie is laying on the couch watching a wiggles dvd entitled wiggle bay.
there is an obnoxious song at the beginning (actually, most of the songs become obnoxious to most parents, i believe... but only after we have had to endure them 500 or so times) and as soon as the music started, i couldn't help but have a strange feeling come over me.
it's been almost two years since she's watched this dvd.
i've thought alot about how we no longer live in the house that we brought janie home to from the hospital. and as much as i loathed living in that little tee-niny house out away from everyone.... i don't know. i don't miss it, but there's something... and i just can't explain it.
i know what i do miss. i miss holding janie when she was a baby. and there are instances when i get to hold her like that now... usually when she is asleep and i am having to carry her to her bed. and now i know to cherish every second that she will let me hold her like that. because those times are becoming more and more scarce.
*sniffle*
my baby is growing up...
xoxo
tell me i'm beautiful...
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