06.01.2007 at 3:46 pm
make it through the day
today started out as a good day. and you never know, it might finish as one as well.
i went to mobile to go to david's bridal to meet with catherine about her wedding. i am the matron of honor. she has chosen a beautiful gown for the bridesmaids. it is very reminiscent of the dress that i wore in jami's wedding, but with a straighter skirt and longer.
after paying for my dress and janie's dress, we headed to the mall so that we could get some shopping done.
i was in lane bryant (my favorite store of ALL TIME) when my cell phone rang.
"hello?" i asked. i already knew who it was. you gotta love caller id.
"hey, can you talk?" chris said. he sounded tense, and i had no clue what was up because i had just talked to him not 10 minutes before this.
"yeah, well, you can talk and i'll listen. how about that?" i knew something was wrong, but i wasn't sure if it was that he was upset about me putting the dresses for the wedding on the credit card or what.
"your mom just called. your grandfather isn't expected to make it through the day, leigh," the words echoed in my head like on a movie.
i stopped looking through the bras and wandered around the store. i was over an hour away from home. i had to go home. i knew i was suppose to take catherine out to eat for her birthday, but i had to go home. i had to go see pawpaw. i had to go home.
i had to go home.
"you there?" he was still on the phone. none of that was said�it was all just thought� and anyone who knows me, knows that there are very few times in my life that i have been for a loss of words.
"yeah. i'm here. i'm coming home." i said. i felt like i was talking way too slow. and it sorta sounded like i was in a tunnel.
"i'll do whatever you want me to do. if you want me to go with you, i will. if you want me to stay here and keep janie, i will. whatever you want me to do, i will," he said. as he finished, my eyes flooded with hot tears.
my grandfather is dying.
"we'll talk about it when i get home." and click.
my grandfather broke his hip over Christmas break. when he was put into the hospital for that, they found that he has lung cancer. he's been through getting the hip fixed and he's been through radiation for the cancer. we already knew that he had prostate cancer; he's had that for over five years now.
what was so odd was that the first thing i wanted to do on the drive home was get on here and blog.
i'm still working on my entry about my pawpaw.
i hope it can be as spectacular prose as he is a person.
xoxo
tell me i'm beautiful...
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